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Havasu

by Pedro The Lion

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    Deluxe Gatefold LP Jacket w/ 12”x12” Insert.

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1.
More desert highways In the heart of a twelve year old Who can't spot misdirection Can't risk more disconnection Two kids, mom & dad Monsoon out backseat glass More rain than the cloud can hold I see you Storm blows into a flood Then disappears A thirsty desert floor drinks it in Miles down below the skin Endless hidden reservoirs What difference would it make If I could be real with you I desperately don't want to Move to Lake Havasu Bred to believe, taught to obey Heard the call & moved away I prayed and cried and cried and prayed Still pissed off, still in pain Still keep it hid & grit my teeth Like you showed me Still hope it's not too late For someone to know me What difference would it make If I could be real with you I desperately don't want to Move to Lake Havasu
2.
Too Much 03:29
First day, big school Trying to keep my trepidation hid Shrink along the corridors Feeling out place, feeling like a fool So you're the new kid You're kinda cute, what's up with you I wanna say something cool so bad But my face goes bright red Too much desperation For a casual conversation Way too much information To try and bridge the distance at all Okay cool I'll see you around She laughed and my whole body cringed No wait let me try again I could really use a friend But once I start I can never shut my mouth I go on & on & on in a drone Til even i'm not listening Too much desperation For a casual conversation Way too much information To try and bridge the distance at all How long do I pretend I'm ok Before I actually feel ok And when will someone come along And say buddy it don't work that way Don't let yourself be buried here for always How'd it go today Comes the question in the quiet car ride home Pretty good, I guess Too much desperation For a casual conversation Way too much information To try and bridge the distance at all
3.
I played the clarinet since fourth grade A long time to wait for love Cause ever since Beverly Hills Cop The Heat Is On, I longed For the saxophone My dad's concern was that the embouchure Was easy and might make my lips too weak To ever play a woodwind in an orchestra An experience he wanted for me After three years it was time to switch to saxophone But the band director shook his head, forget it I'm up to my ears in tenors and altos And you're solid on the clarinet With tears in my eyes I looked up at my dad Who looked back at the band director Don't you have any other openings He replied, I could use another drummer I looked at my dad, he looked at me I nodded my head & he agreed To trade in my clarinet To get my first drum set You know I couldn't even play a beat yet But I lugged it back to my room Made it boom crack boom All afternoon I had no regrets For trading in my clarinet To get my first drum set To get my first drum set To get my first drum set I showed up early to the band room And heard some kid land a fill into a beat Oh how i pestered that poor drummer Begging him to show me repeatedly To play sports about my feelings Being in my body not my head Oh it still sets my heart a reeling I would already be dead without My first drum set I couldn't even play a beat yet But I lugged it back to my room Made it boom crack boom All afternoon I got no regrets For trading in my clarinet To get my first drum set To get my first drum set To get my first drum set
4.
You said to meet by the gym after school before volleyball Your grin poked through the door and we met lips As electric as the kiss was The way you told me no When I leaned in for another thrilled me more There goes nature Pulling me along like a sequencer Right on time Turning me into a teenager Will I always be a teenager now Oh I had a hard time falling asleep that night Then woke up anxious to get to school And exchange some sweet nothin But when I saw you in the hall Without an explanation You called it off There goes nature Pulling me along like a sequencer Right on time Turning me into a teenager I don't wanna be a teenager now Four breakups later On the last day of school You pulled me aside And I tried to play it cool You'd watched me all year And you knew Bill was wrong And you wished you had stayed through The end of our song
5.
Found a new companion But I couldn't read the signs Carnations and chocolate For my first real valentine Making her feel awful For her plan to break it off I knew I could shield her from hard feelings If I could abandon mine Passed her a note in history Through her best friend by her side You can't help not liking me I let her off the hook Expertly erasing How badly shook i was Cause something heavy Wouldn't let me Be my own valentine Always on the TV A better way to be me Hoping someone finally sees Well how about that best friend Who sees me being sweet the scorned flowers and candy She's delighted to redeem While the one who loves me waits Withering inside Quieter than ever now Unseen, languishing While I chase anyone Who even looks at me Cause something heavy Won't let me Be my own valentine
6.
If I thought I could wake up I would but I don't Or take a peek beneath The skin, I could But what good would it do There's too much under there And I'm trying to make The most of it Not looking for a perfect fit I can go along To get along But let me know When I can quit Makin’ the most of it Makin’ the most of it Why's it always come out wrong Needing repair It never comes to stay Ever almost there On the tip of my tongue It never goes away And I'm trying to make The most of it Not looking for a perfect fit Tho I can go along To get along I wanna know When I can quit Makin’ the most of it Makin’ the most of it Makin’ the most of it Makin’ the most of it Makin’ Makin’ the most
7.
Old Wisdom 03:21
When you were little You were scared to death That the rapture already happened Only you were left Despite your constant vigilance You had angered the Lord Which somehow made you love him even more On the same old wisdom With the same result Kids in turmoil Thinking it's their fault With their souls wide open To authority Til they've traded everything For a peace with no peace You're not allowed to see it But you always had a choice Between making a disciple And knowing your little boy I thought it was sinful For me to know myself And if I did I might wind up in hell On the same old wisdom With the same result Kids in turmoil Thinking it's their fault O my soul wide open To authority Til i traded everything For a peace with no peace
8.
Stranger 04:33
Got my hopes up pretty high At an indoor outdoor roller skating rink For someone else to feel the heat with holding hands around the couple skate Two by two they shuffled out to a slow song that still takes my breath away Leaving me solo at the snack bar Eating my shame Now you're the stranger Displaced, unknown Trying to locate yourself In someone else's home On someone else's bones This loneliness conditioned you to think That it's virtuous to suffer quietly Never dreamed it'd be forever Or hurt this way Now you're the stranger Displaced, unknown Trying to locate yourself In someone else's home On someone else's bones I wanna go home now I wanna go home
9.
Good Feeling 04:46
10.
Lost Myself 02:38
I lost myself in Havasu Where the sunset lives Over stucco houses And canyons With a flexible attitude I fell in love Though we would not get to be Companions Try again in Santa Cruz Where the redwoods live Over cliffs Over the ocean Keep a flexible attitude But don't fall away Prepare yourself to stay In motion

about

Lake Havasu is a community of winding hillside roads, launched in the 1960s alongside a brick-for-brick rebuild of the original London Bridge. “It’s this very synthetic, gimmicky place set in this soulful, desolate landscape,” laughs Pedro the Lion’s David Bazan, who moved to the Arizona city for one year in seventh grade. Bazan collected his earliest childhood experiences for 2019’s Phoenix, the prolific artist’s celebrated return to the Pedro moniker and the first in a planned series of five records chronicling his past homes. To write its sequel, Bazan traveled to Havasu four times over several years, driving past his junior high campus, a magical skating rink, and other nostalgic locations that evoked feelings long suppressed. “An intersection I hadn’t remembered for 30 years would trigger a flood of hidden memories,” he says. “I was there to soak in it as much as possible.”

Driving the inscrutable loops of Havasu’s lakeside, Bazan listened through an audiobook of Tom Petty’s biography, eventually dialoguing with Petty’s voice in his mind. A revelation from the book—that Petty subconsciously wrote the song “Wildflowers” as an act of kindness toward himself—inspired Bazan to approach his own work with radical generosity toward his young self. “I wanted to be there for that kid,” he offers. “That twelve year old still needs parenting, and still needs to process.”

To revisit his past with openness, Bazan modified harmful work habits he’d accepted as necessary. That meant doing away with deadlines, and accumulating moments of play as he felt moved to—“Rather than squeezing stones every single time. I’m on a slow journey away from that,” he clarifies. As he worked through the music that became Havasu, flexibility and curiosity informed the arrangements. Bazan began writing on a simple synthesizer and drum machine setup. He detoured to a more elaborate assortment of analog electronic equipment, then woodshed his original two-handed keyboard arrangements on fingerpicked acoustic guitar.

Concurrently relearning his catalog for a weekly series of livestream concerts also renewed his gratitude toward songwriting. “I was trying to evaluate what I have to show for 20 years of kicking my own ass,” Bazan quips about the strenuousness of full-time touring. “But the garden of my songs is what I’ve been building. It doesn’t have to be an ego test.” Approaching his discography with appreciation reconciled cognitive dissonance about the music of his childhood, which Bazan had dismissed as cheesy. “As a kid, that Richard Marx song would come on and I would swoon. I’ve been working my whole life to pretend that wasn’t there, and I wanted to honor the sappy, emotional kid that I was. It helped me see myself,” he admits.

When he entered the studio with co-producer and engineer Andy D. Park (who worked in the same capacity on Phoenix), Bazan planned to make a desolate, desert-informed record. But the duo quickly realized a rock configuration closer to Pedro’s classic sound would convey the landscape and stories best. Bazan switched to a Les Paul, which brought smoothness and linearity; though he’d planned to use a drum machine, he laid down scratch drum kit and bass as an experiment. Listening back the next day, those initial rhythm section takes had a sense of joy and ease that augmented the record’s themes of psychic healing. “First Drum Set,” which faithfully chronicles Bazan’s lifesaving switch from clarinet to drums, builds the explosive jubilation of musical self-discovery into triumphant fills, like a throbbing heartbeat overflowing with love. “Teenage Sequencer” takes on the rattling anxiety of mind-body disconnect, using trepidatious bass, vacillating guitar slides and hopeful tambourine to evoke the crushed-out ups and downs of the mutable edge of thirteen. “There goes nature, pulling me along like a sequencer,” sings Bazan, wondering: “Will I always be a teenager now?” And on “Making the Most Of It,” stuttering hi-hat adorns downtempo, arpeggiated guitar, adding playfulness to a reckoning with concealed emotion. “I can go along to get along, but let me know when I can quit making the most of it,” Bazan shrugs. Yet the contrasting optimism of the music reflects an imperative to communicate feelings both light and heavy: to break through the scar tissue of tender memory and find peace.

Though Bazan wrote, arranged, and performed most instruments himself—as is characteristic of most of his work, solo and with Pedro the Lion—several key collaborators helped him find the self-accepting tenderness needed for Havasu. Pedro live drummer Sean T. Lane makes appearances on every track, but on a self-constructed noisemaking instrument called “the bike.” It’s composed of various metal objects and strings mounted on a bicycle frame, rigged with contact mics and run through a drone-accentuating pedalboard. “It can be percussive, it can be ambient. It’s a real nightmare machine. It’s just great,” Bazan enthuses, highlighting its crucially menacing counterpoint to the otherwise “wistful, melancholy, guilty pleasure romcom” progression of “Own Valentine.” A warm moment exploring his synth setup with longtime collaborator Andy Fitts led to the insistent new wave sound of “Too Much.” And on album opener and cinematic scene-setter “Don’t Wanna Move,” a riff appears that was first devised by Pedro guitarist Erik Walters and used on Phoenix’s closer. “I was psyched to open this record with it,” Bazan says. “I’m trying to have a flow between the records, so if people want to engage with that, there’s something there.”

Though the next three albums in the series are not fully written, Bazan currently understands Phoenix and Havasu together as a completed exposition in a traditional three-act structure. “I want to paint a picture of how my family and parents and everyone I love got coopted by nationalistic, authoritarian religion,” he lays out. “I’m planting the seeds for that, and my own culpability is part of it.” Though these careful compositions pave the way for darker stories in later acts, Bazan resolutely emphasizes the curative nature of returning to Havasu, mentally and musically. “It gave me the ability to make vulnerable choices, and connect with a part of my younger self that I didn’t want to turn my back on,” he suggests. “I worked through a lot of self-judgment, and was kinder to myself on this record than I have been before in any songs.” The result is an open-hearted acknowledgment of shame and elation both, spaciously but delicately arranged in affirmation of the nurturing those feelings deserve—even if the kid in need of validation has long since grown up and moved away.

credits

released January 20, 2022

Produced by Andy D. Park & David Bazan

All songs written & arranged by David Bazan
Except: Track 1 music written with Erik Walters
& Track 2 music written with Andy Fitts

All instruments & vocals by David Bazan
Except: Bike on all tracks & percussion on tracks 3, 4, & 8 by Sean Lane
& keys on Track 5
& additional keys on Tracks 4 & 8 by Andy D. Park

Recorded by Andy D. Park
at The Crumb
Mixed by Andy D. Park at The Crumb with David Bazan

Mastered by Chris Colbert
at Numberstation
Art Direction by Jesse LeDoux
Cover photos by David Bazan
Studio photo by Ryan Russell
Management: Bob Andrews at Undertow
Booking: Trey Many at Wasserman Music
Legal: Richard Grabel

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Pedro The Lion Seattle, Washington

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